Thursday, March 24, 2016

Dreaming about him...

Since the terror attack in Brussels, I got a lot of questions from my family and friends, if I am alright. 
I am. Don’t worry, I live so far away from Brussels, it is like 2.5 hours far.

And what about my dream this time?
It’s him! My father came to my dream last night. It has been soooooooo long that I haven’t dream about him. Some says if dead people come to your dream, they just want to check   how are you. If it so, I am fine, Pak. I don’t often get dreams about dead people. 

This time in my dream, after 20 years of his death, he came back alive. He returns to us, to our family. But like other dead people dreams that I usually had, he didn’t say a thing. Not a word! That makes me sad. I wish he would say something to me, like “Hi Alfi, you are grown up now.” or “Oh look, you’re fine without me.”
Last night he looked me in the eye, I heard someone says “Your father is still alive.” And I tried to hug him because I miss him so much (well I never really missed him, until I got this dream)  and he just walked away to the exit door in the house. 

And from a far I could see him laughing, and I noticed his eyes were narrow. People said my eyes look like his. 
If I could have a chance to meet him again in real, I would do anything. 

Dear Bapak, 

I am doing fine in Belgium. I am fine. I like studying in here (even I dont always understand the subjects :P). I like living in here. Everybody is so nice to me. So, don’t worry I always could take care myself.

Warm hugs,
your daughter

Today I told my mom about my dream, and she said this week is his 21th anniversary of his death. Is it not a coincidence?

On his arms

and do I have a father issue? Ha, you tell me...

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