About a slave that doesn't want to listen

She started first. She texted him first. She said, "Now it is raining,  should I come to warm you up?" She asked because she knew that he has no central heating at his place and that makes her worried a bit.

Apparently, he had already a small heating in his living room, but still, he wanted her to come over, for giving an extra heat in his place.  She thought maybe it is a good idea to visit him once in a while. Besides he had an accident a few weeks ago, so she wanted to check him out.

The convo was alright until. One of them began to tease each other.

"You are my slave from the first minute you enter my house!" texted him at midnight. The girl got immediately a goosebump.

The next day, all she knew that she was waiting for her master at the train station. She was like Hachiko, an Akita dog who was always waiting for his master to come back from work. But Hachiko was so remarkably loyal to one master, and she isn't. That's different.

Then they met. They walked together to her master's dungeon. They talked along the way.

When she entered into his place, he tried to be the master. But the slave didn't obey him. And they talked about other things. At this point, she didn't feel awkward at all. They even shared a small pack of matcha popcorn. Matcha! Yes, it reminded her about 3 years ago, she had tasted matcha latte with her previous master.  What a coincidence no?

She tasted the matcha popcorn slowly, she wanted to feel the sweetness of it. He enjoyed the popcorns as much as she did. After the popcorns ran out, did they even remember what happened between them after that? It was so quick,  they were like a dream. The taste of matcha was still on the tip of her tongue.  It was so unreal and everything she wanted. It was as if they woke up from their dream and never looked back. Because she doesn't remember how they went from eating popcorns to staring at the blank ceiling. At that point in her life, she got something that she never felt before. They stared together at the ceiling quite a while. She wanted to stare at his eyes instead. "Don't" that what he said when he caught her staring at his restless face. Perhaps he doesn't want to be remembered, she thought.

Between those silent moments,

"Don't think," he said.
"I don't. I just enjoy the moment, don't you?" she replied.

Before she was leaving 'the dungeon',

"You seem nice and doesn't look naughty at all," he said.  "But you are."
"I can't believe it. Thanks to you, now I'm afraid to believe any girls. I'll be suspicious of any cute  girls that want to have a relationship with me."

That words struck her to the bottom.  "Why I can't be a decent fucking person. Why is that?" asked her to herself. She keeps asking herself why she is so selfish. She is lost. She followed her heart but she stepped way too far. She crossed the line. She hasn't found the right path yet. What could she do about that?