The things that I want to do--I WANNA LIVE

I want to do a million things.

Watch the sunset,

party,

riding bike in all night long,,

go to a wedding,

pee my pants,

get high,

cry until I laugh,

go camping,

sing at karaoke,

write a movie,

dancing with the moon,

meet someone famous,

have a beach house,

kissing strangers,

take the train to somewhere I've never been,

be happy,

and just figure out life. I WANT TO LIVE

Do you think sex before marriage is okay?

hmm, lets give me few minutes to think about this.

Yeah, have as much fun as you can before you end up staying with one person for the rest of your life. I dont think sex equates to love always and I dont think I ever will.

I know it against my religion. FYI, Im not religious enough, so please no offense. :P

And why we always underestimate sex before marriage is bad? I think its not bad at all, why we don't see another cases, like many cases in household also do sex outside their marriage. I mean, many husband have affair or slept with sluts behind their wife. Well, thats wrong!! if you already have commitment with someone, you need to keep your words. So, for this matter I don't agree if people always say sex before marriage is bad, the truth is having affair if you already marriage is bad. Are you agree with me, pals?

I dont believe in soulmates. My mom and dad married. and after my dad died I didn't think my mom had ever fall in love again, but she did, many times for a jerk guys. and you can tell she loved his first hushband and she loves his boyfriend? recently, I read Paolo Coelho's book--The Witch of Portobello--that story told me its possibly if you can love two person at the same time, because love is uncountable. So, in that respect I don't see how there can be a soulmate.

I dont think people only have one love, it annoys me so much when people say, "I didnt think i was in love before until i met you"--ugh!! it so gross!! I want to throw up!!!

Hey stupid!! You are allowed to love more than one person, and you can fall out of love. Love is as real as you want to think it is.

I dont like the idea of being stuck to one person for the rest of my life, I dont say marriage is a bad way to get happiness, it would be a nice idea, and for the moment i still think It wouldnt be the end of the world if i didnt get married. I want to have kids, otherwise i cant see what else I'll do with my life. Some of people in my life chose to didnt married, and they still happy with their life. My lovely 'uncle' who I always adore with said the same thing to me, he has good opinion why he dont want married, it doesnt because he is affraid of commitment or whatever, he just has some good reasons, who I respect his reasons. and btw, Shakira--singer--also doesnt want married with his boyfriens, even their relationship already have been 11 years, wow!! she also has good reason, she said, "I want he always be my eternal lover" ARGHH SO SWEETT

to clearly my thoughts, people fall in love with whoever they fall in love with. Sex before marriage isn't bad way, keeping virginity for the right guy is the right thing to do, and somehow the right guy maybe isnt your husband. Marriage is a another way to get happiness, but it isnt my choice for at the moment, you still can fall in love without marriage or having sex with someone. Love and sex are different, but we could do this things together.

so, just feel free to fall in love!! this world would be a better if we love each other. no war. no cry. peace!!

Lets love everyone, or just someone, whatever, as long as it doesnt make your heart being hurt.

these are my fantasy.

Its not an Ecstasy

Its just fantasy of mine.

I'm dreaming about a billion wonderful things in this world.

I'm liking everything.

I'm talking to myself, it doesn't mean I'm a crazy.

In my own world inside my head, I can have unlimited fantasy, such as:

I feel I'm loved by somebody.

I feel I'm happy when strangers stared at me, even in reality none stare at me.

I fell there is someone watching me while sleeping every night, and kiss my forehead.

I feel I love somebody, even its hard for me to have crush to somebody.

I always feel I'm happy, but when I realized there are a lot of pains torture my soul.

I feel I have freedom, I could do everything. everything. just in my own fantasy.

I feel I could have a great conversation with Orlando Bloom, Matt Lanter, Richard Gere, and Mitch Hewer, or Dev Patel.

I feel like Dj.Noxx, my lovely uncle, care with me. and want me as his daughter.

I feel like nobody hates me , or doesn't sneaking behind my back. because its hurt.

And..

the most fantasy I could have is I feel I still can talk with my father. My dad. I could dance with him. I could hug him.

DAD, I REALLY MISS YOU. A LOT.

Hello, anybody loves Skins Series?

now I'm looking for fans of Skins.
Yeah, last night I just finished to watch it. 3 seasons already.

And they were so cool, and damn marveolus!!!
Ok, maybe a number of you never heard this before.
I got these DVD's from online-shop,
If you wanna have these series you could imported or buy in online shop (I checked at Glodok they have none,hahaha)
or you could download from a site (but I dunno the link)
I explain you what is Skins series tell about,
they were a Brit

ain drama teen series. for more info you could see in their site,

I found this series by accident caused I was looking for Dev Patel, and I found SKINS!! tadaaa...
after watched season 1 & 2 I had become fans of Mitch Hewer.
I typed "MITCH HEWER" at google, and i got series named "BRITANNIA HIGH"

(I'll explain you in other blog)

Then, after I watched Skins season 3, guess what? I had became fans of Luke Pasqualino. Twat! How bitch I am!

Skins made me sick of fuckin Bristol, damn!! who cares about Gossip Girl?
Oya, I wanna tell you my extraordinary experiences with Skins casts and staffs.

1.few months ago, I found Mitch Hewer by facebook (thanx God!) and he became my friend there, and he replied my messege (as i already told you at other jurnal), and when my 18th anniversary he said "Happy B'dae" by facebook.
Can you imagine? how glad i am to read that,,an actor from Britain would to answer my silly question.
Okey, maybe some of you didnt believe me, you call me a liar. but In the name of Gucci I dont lie.
Or, you'll think that a man who replied my messege didnt the real "Mitch Hewer", it could be another man.
Alfi: "Hey,i was already ask him, and he anwered that was true he is. From many account of him in fb, i believe one of that account its him.

2.Oya i found : Nick Hoult, Hannah Morray, and April Pearson, they were my friends already in fb. but they weren't answer my messege..huh lol

3.And you kno what?? yesterday i just search "Bryan Elsley" on facebook, and tadaaa...i found him. He is a writter of SKINS.
i sent him a messege, and he answered me. huaa....i cant stand for this,
and i told him that in Indonesia their series didnt launced,

I hope after I told Bryan, Skins wanna lauched in Indonesia so that fans SKins like me in Indonesia didnt difficult to get information about them.

Oya,, SKINS sesion 4 will be coming, but not soon.
You know when??

yup, in 2010...ugh,,,i cant stand on this...hurted!!