About a slave that doesn't want to listen

She started first. She texted him first. She said, "Now it is raining,  should I come to warm you up?" She asked because she knew that he has no central heating at his place and that makes her worried a bit.

Apparently, he had already a small heating in his living room, but still, he wanted her to come over, for giving an extra heat in his place.  She thought maybe it is a good idea to visit him once in a while. Besides he had an accident a few weeks ago, so she wanted to check him out.

The convo was alright until. One of them began to tease each other.

"You are my slave from the first minute you enter my house!" texted him at midnight. The girl got immediately a goosebump.

The next day, all she knew that she was waiting for her master at the train station. She was like Hachiko, an Akita dog who was always waiting for his master to come back from work. But Hachiko was so remarkably loyal to one master, and she isn't. That's different.

Then they met. They walked together to her master's dungeon. They talked along the way.

When she entered into his place, he tried to be the master. But the slave didn't obey him. And they talked about other things. At this point, she didn't feel awkward at all. They even shared a small pack of matcha popcorn. Matcha! Yes, it reminded her about 3 years ago, she had tasted matcha latte with her previous master.  What a coincidence no?

She tasted the matcha popcorn slowly, she wanted to feel the sweetness of it. He enjoyed the popcorns as much as she did. After the popcorns ran out, did they even remember what happened between them after that? It was so quick,  they were like a dream. The taste of matcha was still on the tip of her tongue.  It was so unreal and everything she wanted. It was as if they woke up from their dream and never looked back. Because she doesn't remember how they went from eating popcorns to staring at the blank ceiling. At that point in her life, she got something that she never felt before. They stared together at the ceiling quite a while. She wanted to stare at his eyes instead. "Don't" that what he said when he caught her staring at his restless face. Perhaps he doesn't want to be remembered, she thought.

Between those silent moments,

"Don't think," he said.
"I don't. I just enjoy the moment, don't you?" she replied.

Before she was leaving 'the dungeon',

"You seem nice and doesn't look naughty at all," he said.  "But you are."
"I can't believe it. Thanks to you, now I'm afraid to believe any girls. I'll be suspicious of any cute  girls that want to have a relationship with me."

That words struck her to the bottom.  "Why I can't be a decent fucking person. Why is that?" asked her to herself. She keeps asking herself why she is so selfish. She is lost. She followed her heart but she stepped way too far. She crossed the line. She hasn't found the right path yet. What could she do about that?

Headache and Bubble Tea

Did I already tell you that I often get lost? I'm always in trouble. I'm always lost. I'm all chaos.
Again, on a sunny day on Wednesday, I was lost in a big city.

In my desperation for finding the right direction to the national museum (yep, that was written on my to-do list that day),  I thought I should ask somebody because it's easier than reading the map on my phone. And there was you! That tall guy who sat alone on a bench in the corner of a flea market. My first impression? You seemed blank.

"Hey there, I am lost," I said and sat next to you.
"I'm having a headache," replied you.
"You know what? I'm thirsty, I tried to find my way to the national museum, but I couldn't find it. Let's find a fresh bubble tea." I took your hand.

WHAT DID I JUST DO? I never took a stranger's hand before! What kind of solution is that? Bubble tea and headache? That is so weird combination! What's on earth!

Surprisingly, you followed my weird suggestion. And you lead the way to a bubble tea cafe (I didn't know you know such a place in this city).
I tried the taro (you know, it's still the family of sweet potato) milk tea and yours was fruit tea (I believe it was lychee). That bubble tea cafe was cozy, I could hear zen instruments as a background music. Not so many customers there, perhaps 4-5 people including us.  Meditating soundtracks, a cozy sofa, and us. We met like 30 minutes ago, and now we had a smooth conversation that normally I couldn't do with any strangers. Well, sometimes, you meet a person and you just click, no? Besides, we don't know each other so we don't have to pretend to be anyone or anything.

Again, you complained about your headache.
"Let me offer you a head massage," another impulsive suggestion from me. I don't normally do massage actually,  because simply I don't know how.
That idea was suddenly popping up in my head.
"Go ahead," answered you as your face came closer to my face.
There were three seconds of silence before I started to massage you--well, it was more like rubbing your hair than giving a proper massage. In the meantime, you told me many things, including a very personal thing. I believe it's easier for you to tell such things to a stranger like me because there is less risk.  You also started to tell me about your dreams that you are afraid to achieve. Oh, you, you have so many problems in your life, I do wish you could solve all your problems and pursue your dreams no matter what. I encouraged you, what else could I do, right?

I silently stared at your face for a long time while your eyes were closed (Did you enjoy my massage, huh?) You seemed relaxed after the massage.

Your eyes were closed and your mouth was a little bit opened. Your lips.. like begging me to kiss them. But I didn't dare. I couldn't take the risk to kiss a stranger. The longer I stared at your face the more I realized how pretty your resting face is! That face shouldn't have so many burdens that make your head want to explode. I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight, and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it (as Jenna said, The Waitress). So that you could feel lighter and feel better about yourself. Don't let your burdens be obstacles of your future!

At some point, you caught me staring at your resting face. I sipped my bubble tea to get away with it. I hope my cheeks didn't turn red. We finished our drinks. You explained to me how to go to the museum.  I said thank you. And you said the same thing for the massage.
And till there! We said goodbye and wishing each other good luck in life.

Oh, shoot! And I forgot to ask your name, Mr. Headache perhaps ;)

Melted sorbet in the park

It was sunny outside. It was 40 C.  I was always thirsty. I drank mineral water continuously to wet my lips. Didn't you notice that? I did notice that many people  are not afraid with the temperature. They went outside, to the park, we did too. They did yoga, reading, tanning, kissing, what else? And I did notice that you are a bit sad. Or was that tired face? Am I wrong? Why is that?

It was sunny and it made me sweat a lot. Or perhaps because of you? The first thing that you noticed was my perfume! Was it too much? I just used it once this morning. I think my sweat and the perfume made a good collaboration. Brilliant! I should open my own fragrance line, from my sweat, mandarin, sandalwood, blackberry, jasmine, cedar, and musk. I take it as you like my Gucci II.

There was an ice cream shop close to the park. I chose passionfruit flavour. I liked its sour. Like life. The sorbet was so easily melted because of the heat yesterday. Before our sorbets were melted, again, we talked basically over anything. Nothing particular. Opinions mostly.  Little by little I feel like you are so familiar to me. Did we meet before? Of course, I don't know you that much yet.  Every smile of yours brings me closer to the feeling that I am comfortable with you. 

source here

Then our sorbets were finished. What should we do now? We could lay back on the grass. None cares. The sorbet didn't stop our convo. We got a lot more to catch up. 

There again, when the moment we looked at each other. You got me silent. And we both were in meaningful silent for a while. Were we contemplating our convo just ago? 

Before I caught my last train to home, and before everything is going too far and too late. I tasted a bit of another sorbet and so I could get to know you a little bit more. The taste was sweet. Like life, sometimes. Are you not enough with one sorbet? who does eat only a scoop of sorbet? Me.  So, before my train leaves me alone in the dark station, I got a chance to know you. Not that much. But enough. 

And after my last sorbet, where everything was beyond control. Suddenly the universe made a conspiration, it against us. It didn't work well anymore. I feel it so weird, why is it so sudden?

So in the end, I sat on my last train to the land where I belong, on a slowly old train, I wonder if you think about it too... 

Getting Lost in the Park

Yesterday I was lost in the park. I couldn't control myself. I like being lost like that.
And you must be curious, how come?

Yesterday I sat alone on a bench in the park. I tried to read a novel that I brought from home. But I couldn't focus. Perhaps I was a bit nervous to see you.

And there you are! You were late like 15 minutes. I don't mind. You gave me a reckless kiss on my cheek.

"Oops, sorry" you said.

Tree! My first impression about you. Light brown hair, hazel eyes, long nose,  and long legs. I feel like being Tinkerbell with you.

Then we talked about trips, relationships, people, work, anything basically that come to mind.
At some point, we ran out of topics. And you looked me in the eye. Deep.

And there where I got lost. In your eyes. I don't know what drove us crazy? Is it because of the silent benches? or the rustling trees? Your heart beats so fast. Was it because too excited or ... ah I'm not sure. The other side I was chill. Perhaps because the wind blews so hard.

I do enjoy to listen all your crazy stories and your long gaze. But you leave me so many questions about myself. I am not sure about me. Because I was lost in my excitement.

Shall we do it again sometime? Because I like being lost and never found :)

When we went to cinema

photo credit to: here

If I'm not wrong, there were only three times we went to cinema together. 

First time, 

It was for a thriller movie, a German one. During the movie, you whispered softly, telling me that you have been to Russia. And you told me the story about a Russian policeman. Then, there was a scene which shocked me, and I held your arms by coincidence. Right away I removed my hand when I realized it. And I couldn't recall until now, there was a point where you held my hand, and kiss  the top of my arm. You tried to kiss me on the lips, but I wasn't up for that. So you just held my hand. It was warm, as warm as your hugs. I was wondering what was on your mind when you held my hand? why did you do that? you left me so confused. It was so confusing for me, but I felt something. 

Second time, 

We had no plans after work, so  we decided to go to cinema again. We watched a movie about racing cars. I ordered us a matcha latte, because you insisted to buy me the cinema ticket. The matcha latte made me to go to toilet twice. Damn you matcha! Not just matcha, but you made me also. Did you know that?

Like the first time, you held my hand, this time longer, and firm. I just guessed you like to play with my hand, so I let you. I don't know what triggers made you suddenly want to kiss me? Why couldn't you just sit still and watch the movie? Because I was so focused on the movie, until I was aware that you were watching my face, and our eyes met. You came closer, and closer to my face. and we kissed. Maybe that was my first kiss in the cinema. 

and you seemed enjoy the kiss, so I was the one to say we should continue watching. Was the movie so bad??

Third time, 

and also the last time. I felt sad, because I knew this would be our last time going to cinema together. I don't know if you realized that. This time we watched Hollywood movie again, a superhero one. We sat in the very back, I didn't know why you chose that, until I found your fingers somewhere else. I don't know why you were so naughty? I ever worked for that cinema, and I knew where they place the camera, and when you were busy on me, I felt a little bit uncomfortable, someone was watching us, but who cares, right? I was so fuck*ng wet. Damn you! 

Do you still remember these moments? cause I still do. These moments are like the movie itself, when it stops, then the life goes on. Sometimes I'm still curious why we did that or why you did that? why I did that? It just happened. But I want more prose to understand these moments with you.